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Tracking the murder of Lilie James to the 8 stages of the Homicide Timeline

06/04/2025

Lilie was a 21-year old water polo coach at St. Andrew’s Cathedral School in Sydney. She was murdered on 25.10.23 by her ex-partner, Paul Thijssen, whom she had been dating for a few months. They had separated a matter of days before the murder.

Stage 1 (History) – Thijssen had a history of controlling patterns and then stalking at the point of separation. An ex-girlfriend described him as ‘obsessive’, ‘intense’, needing attention and insistent on her sharing her location. When they separated, Thijssen stalked her by, amongst other things, hacking her Snapchat and tracking her via her phone. He also went to her home uninvited on two successive mornings, peering into her kitchen window and she was terrified. When he tried to reinstate that relationship, and the victim refused, he resorted to violence by punching a tree she was standing next to, as he ‘couldn’t punch the one thing he wanted to’.

Stage 2 (Early relationship) – Lilie and Thijssen began a relationship in or around July 2023. According to Lilie’s parents, there was a very early conversation about the nature of the relationship and Lilie stressed she didn't want anything serious. She may have been trying to manage his intensity, but he clearly didn't accept this as his attempts to control her started immediately. It is worth noting that the conversation was had at all, Lilie may not have been very taken with him as she said she wanted nothing serious, or he may well have been very pushy.

Stage 3 (Relationship) – there was what was described by experts as coercive control that included tracking and monitoring, jealousy and possessiveness and aggression. Thijssen tracked Lilie’s phone and location. He became agitated by Lilie’s contact with an ex-partner and was jealous of this. Thijssen recruited a mutual friend to ‘keep an eye’ on Lilie at a party he was not attending. Lilie disclosed to a friend that she did not feel safe around Thijssen and was ‘weirded out by him.’ Lilie quickly became fearful of Thijssen.

Stage 4 (Trigger) – Lilie didn't like the control and was frightened of him. She put a stop to things quite quickly by ending the relationship. Lilie may have tried to be kind, or was simply fearful, when she said it was a mutual decision to her friend. It is clear Thijssen was unhappy the relationship ended as he was captured on CCTV grabbing Lilie by the shoulders, shoving and cornering her on the school grounds.

Stage 5 (Escalation) –Thijssen immediately began stalking Lilie and escalated quickly and dangerously. Amongst other things he tracked her location, asked friends to monitor her and shared an intimate photo of Lilie without her permission. Thijssen was attempting to regain control and was also punishing her for ending the relationship. Stage 6 (Homicidal ideation) – Thijssen rapidly escalated to homicidal ideation looking at weapons and seeing how weapons felt in his hands and even purchasing a hammer and gaffer tape.

Stage 7 (Planning) – Thijssen quickly formed a plan as to how he would carry out the murder, with the stalking becoming reconnaissance. He chose the time and the place and the method. The day after they separated he drove to Lilie’s home and took photographs of cars parked outside. He did this a 5 further times. He was reconnoitring. He rehearsed the attack on Lilie, as CCTV captured him practising barging into the disabled toilet at the school, the murder scene. He used a master key to ensure his attack on Lilie would not be disturbed by anyone and lured Lilie to the disabled toilet where he killed her. Stage 8 (Homicide) – Thijssen bludgeoned Lilie to death with a hammer. In a murder that demonstrated rage and fury. He inflicted at least 25 blows to her head and neck, going far beyond what was required to kill her and described as ‘overkill’ by experts. He acted on his plan calmly and with purpose. He left the scene still calmly disposing of evidence and informing both the police and Lilie's father that something had happened. He did not identify himself to police and this gave him some time to consider how he would escape justice. Coercive control is a dangerous pattern and the highest risk marker for serious harm and homicide in intimate partner relationships. It is essential that public awareness of the dangerousness of coercive control is raised and the criminal justice system begins to respond more effectively to the threat and risk posed by controlling people.